"In my distress I called to the Lord,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
You hurled me into the deep,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
I said, 'I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.'
The engulfing waters threatened me,
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit,
O Lord my God.
When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, Lord,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.
'Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the Lord.'"
Jonah 2:2-9
Tonight at North Ave, we had a worship session that was really awesome, but I knew that my heart wasn't in the right place. These past couple of weeks has been really hard. The enemy gained a lot of ground in my life while I was just trying to stay afloat. The thing was though, I have been trying to stay afloat in the ocean of this world with a little inner-tube that I created by my own strength instead of turning to the huge rescue boat that Jesus sent just for me! Jesus has been calling out to me; to let Him rescue me and not for me to do it on my own. It is exhausting you know. It really is.
Tonight I borrowed Kayla's bible and turned to Jonah because I hadn't had time in the Word in almost a week. I began to read Jonah's prayer to God while he was in the belly of the whale. And it hit me that Jonah and I are like two peas in a pod. I may not have been running from God but I had definitely been attempting to hide/ignore Him. I praise God that in the depths of the grave that I dig for myself continually, He hears me and lifts me out.
Georgia Tech has really felt like the churning ocean that Jonah was tossed in. I feel like the currents of pride, self-reliance, and dependence on academics has been the seaweed that has been tangling me into the sea. The engulfing waters that threatened Jonah has been the P-Chem and Inorganic assignments that never seem to end, the Calculus that is continually hovering and pulling me under.
The safety net of my own success or failure in school has been the worthless idols that I have clung to. I have clung to a self-relying attitude instead of a dependence on God. I have been forfeiting the grace that is offered to me. The grace that is in Christ Jesus is mine! Mine to have and to give to others.
Salvation comes from the Lord. I'm choosing to give up my own failing safety device and I'm reaching out to grab Jesus' hand to pull me aboard His rescue boat. In the storm of school, hard decisions, and life's tsunamis, Jesus can calm the sea. He did it once and He can do it again. Of that I am certain.
